May Racing - a look back

May Races Themes

• mud
• some frustration
• more mud
• some fatigue
• rain means more mud
• can I have a dry race?
• now, I expect the mud
• and finally, a shifting perspective

May Lessons Learned

• Focus less on the result and I create more space to have fun
• More Zen less Tillmanator.  This is and forever will be my life long learning lesson.  My journey of awareness.  Both are ok but much better as a balance.  Friends, work colleagues, loved ones --- all whom I interact, help me learn this lesson, over and over.  
• I want to glide more than I want to force.  (Work and sport)
• Go slower to go faster.  (Work and sport)
• May is Springtime, expect mud.  Let it go.
• Sidenote:  get some flippin' mud tires for next Spring.  Or at least a tire with more knobs, geez Jen.
• Encourage everyone.  Especially yourself.  We're all (I am too) doing the best we can at any given point in time. (Everywhere all the time, at least I can try)
• Joe's bike shop and the team really rocks the positivity, always.  (helps me push harder, be better ... and remember the F-U-N part of riding, most important part.  Thanks to ALL OF YOU)
• It is ok to have no goals.  It may be better.
• Endurance is a lot of fun, hmmm.  It is more about pushing myself than anything else.  I like it.   Sheehan/Lane, thx to you both, I'll have more of this coming soon with Stoopid 50 and ORAMM.  I think it will be really good for me, so I'll thank you both now.
• June might be dry.  Finally.  But I am not expecting it to be... ha.
• Thanks to Chris Newell (Sublime Athletics) for his endless positive energy and encouragement, along with his rock solid MTB training plan.

Photo credits - Bill White, Ty Long  

Iron Hill - 5/04

Iron Hill - Early in the Race on a dryer part of the course

Started the month of May with Iron Hill MASS MTB race near Newark, Delaware.   The Cat1/pro women had a solid field with Vicki Barclay (Stan's No Tubes),  Carolyn Popovic (Rare Disease Cycling), and Stacey Barbossa (Colavita) joining the field among many other women including regulars like Heather Heinrich, Cati Scheifele, rising young star Ginni Jeppi, and Jessica Hill.

Iron Hill is a super cool, punchy, tight & twisty MTB playground.  There are few rocky sections that require attention scattered about the course as well as a super cool half pipe mega-dip hill that you come barreling down at top speed and carry as much speed as possible up the steep, vertical on the other side.  It's fun.  Iron Hill is usually a race that suits my strengths.

But after a mega rainstorm Saturday evening, conditions switched from dry, fast, and flowy to conditions that were muddy, much slower (for me), and sketchy from the greasy conditions.   

This was the beginning of a very muddy May of racing.  Not my best race, certainly not my best race conditions.  (5th-division, 7th overall)



Mother's Day Mauler - 5/10

1st Lap not too muddy yet

This race was super cool and special because our team, Joe's Bike Shop was sponsoring the event as a part of the Patapsco Race Series.  And our cool teammate, Bob G, is the race promoter (Race Works Gruppetto), chip timer, and generally considered a  Race Wizard extraordinaire, at least to JBS.  

Most of the team worked hard early in the week to get the course setup.  Bob spares no detail when putting on races.   Think super fun, cool vibes, awesome tunes, great snacks and food, and best recovery drinks ever -- beer.  Oh, electronic timing too.

Bob has turned his hobby into a mega production, so much so, that he now has a race car size trailer that he pulls ALL of his race supplies in...  super cool.  Thanks Bob.  His positive energy is infectious.

Running the Technical Rock Section.  More mud.

I rode the course early in the week, um when it was dry, and knew it would be a good course to ride.  Challenging and fun.

I arrived early with many Joe's teammates to give Bob a hand with the final details.  The Endurance, Beginner and Sport races had near perfect Spring weather with a glowing sun above the tree canopy.

Air Hug with Chris

Rode my pre-lap around 12:30 with a dear friend of mine, Chris Pohowsky, from Blackburg, VA.   Chris was in the Shenandoah, VA area with his significant other over the weekend and I encouraged him to come try our race while he was "kind-of" in the area... He came!  So fun to have him in the mix.

Our pre-ride was dry.  We did one lap with a few efforts.  My Raven/Bontrager Team 0 tires were grippy and fast.  Bike felt good.  I felt good.

20 minutes before the race ... Mother Nature decided she must unload the weight of her Spring tears.  She cried inches of rain onto the dry field.  It was an intense summer-like storm. The rain lasted 20-30 minutes.  Needless to say, the trail conditions were radically different after the rain... I was wondering if our race may get cancelled....but Bob and the park ranger said the show could go on.

Our Cat1/pro women's field was mega stacked today:  Cheryl Sornson (Rare Disease Cycling) was in the mix, Suzie Snyder (Luna Pro), Marla Streb (Luna) and our own Soul Crushing Carla Williams (Joe's) was ready to tear it up.... there were more than 10 of us at our local race. It was cool.

Mud Beards.  Team Love. (Ethan)

We had a mass start, all fields, up a road for about a mile.  Um, ouch!   We took the first left into the singletrack which led to fire road. I immediately knew what we were going to be in for ... ruts had turned into rivers ... There was absolutely no dry.  There were small crashes immediately and the slip N slide began.

Yeah, it was epic.  I lost the lead group more/less right away.  And I slid, everywhere.  For me, it felt like cycling on a sheet of ice.  Many folks DNF'd into the first lap choosing to quit vs race in these conditions.  the Mud was epic.  We were covered.  Bikes were covered.  My goal went from a "racing mentality" to a "just finish this damn race" mentality.  Stay upright.  Finish.  Stay upright. Finish.

I finished.  Ugh.  That hurt.  We missed the sunshine by an hour... 

Greenbrier 5/18:
It rained throughout the week.  Of course?  Of course.
I decided to race the Cat 1 age group to ensure I qualified for the National XC MTB championship this July in Bear Creek, PA.

Therefore, for this race (unlike most), the races were staged separately:  Pro Women, then Cat 1 open, then age groupers.

My race category was small.  Me vs. the Toasted Head 30-39ers.  They were an awesome group of girls and thanks to their friends, I have some pretty sweet race photos.

Greenbrier is a 5-6 mile loop, lots of rocks.  Some solid climbs that hurt ya.  A few creek crossings. And some wicked descents.   It's technical and requires power and finesse equally.

The start always hurts with a climb from the grassy start/finish area all the way up a ridge top descending down into the rockiest section of the course before you're climbing again.   I felt solid with my start choosing to stand and power into the climb.  I was able to make a pass about halfway into the climb and led the entire race.

The mud wasn't as bad as Iron Hill or Mauler.  It was thinner and the traction was much better (still racing low tread dry terrain tires mind you)... 

I focused on riding clean, pushing hard up the hills into the ridge flats and rocketing as fast as I could on the downhill sections.   If I thought about a turn/feature/etc, it was time to slow and then refocus.

It's when I charge ahead without thinking that I know I'm in my center and racing to my potential.  If I start to overthink, I try to self talk to my brain. I allow myself that second to think but then I try to encourage my brain to let go and move on.... It's a way to acknowledge that moment good/bad and then move through it so I can come clean into the next opportunity. Racing is full of these moments, some races have more than others.  Some moments are harder to move through... Kind of like life.

While I had a good day, I was still in my head about my time vs. the larger cat 1 field.  Rather than celebrate, I was comparing my result.  It was stupid.  Why not just be happy?  Cause my head often gets stuck in my ass, that's why.  

PS: I won but unfortunately, I missed my podium.

Rocky technical section.

Woodstock Wrecker 5/24:
The Wrecker was my best performance of the month and I attribute it to a few key things:

• Racing endurance is a different mindset, you have to hold back to go the distance.  This was really good for me.  I was 7th off the start and chasing those fast boys into the first lap but had to slow it down a notch and "settle in" to ensure I could ride strong the whole race
• I stopped caring about the race conditions.  Mud, yeah, that's normal now.  Just race the best I could.
• I had been tired this week and not feeling stellar.  I didn't know how I was going to feel during the race so I just let go of wanting a specific result.  I'd just race my best and see what that would be, no judgement.

One of my fav shots from the season so far 

(Credit:  Ty Long)

Race gun had us on course around 830.  Cut-off for final lap was 1230.   I completed by 4th lap around 1220 giving me another opportunity to race one more lap.  (Carla, I specifically thought about you and your 30 sec at Greenbrier.  Thanks for popping in my head.  I later said:  " I channeled my Inner Carla. "

It was a perfect Spring day.

I felt centered.

I was racing well.  Smart, clean, and open.  I had an easy flow attitude.

And at the end of the day, I took a win and was 8th overall in the overall endurance field.

~4 hr 45 min 

~ 43 miles

~ lots of smiling and having FUN

I will take this race as a key milestone of my season and take this energy into June.  Thanks for reading.

 cheers,

-A very human, flawed and ever-learning Zen Jen Tillmanator

Endurance Category Win.  Tillmanator, with a generous portion of Zen, is back!

2014 Baker's Dozen

the Annual Baker's Dozen Mountain Bike Relay Race is a 13 hour, super fun, and fast race that sells out in minutes each year and attracts racers from all over the Midatlantic area and beyond.

This year, meet our team:   Stewart's Sublime Tillmanator Prom consisting of me - aka Tillmanator, Chris Newell aka The Duke of Sublime Athletics Coaching, and last but not least, Mr. Stewart Miley --- we were his prom dates!

We registered for the race at the beginning of the year and have been counting down as the Baker's race approached 4/12.   But of course there are always snaggles in the best of plans.   Stewart, our Prom Captain, had to go "race" train on his mountain bike the weekend before the race and not only bruised his ribs but also developed a severe sinus infection a few days after his "cartwheel" mountain bike wreck which added insult on top of the injury.   2 days before the race, the Duke learned that Cheryl Sornson would be available to race.  Yes, we secured "Churtle the turtle" to step in as a substitute.  

There were 27 co-ed teams registered for Baker's as well as many other 3-person, 2-person and solo categories.   But, we were the only co-ed 3-person team that consisted of two women and one man...and well, we were up to the challenge of posing a "real threat" to all other 3 person co-ed teams.  Game on! 

We were going to Tillmanate the competition.

7:00 - 9:00 - Arrival and Race prep
Thanks to Joe, Patrick, Angela, Theresa, Wrona, Ethan and Bob for staking out a super cool spot for our base camp compound.   We were parked in the perfect place in my opinion.  Thanks team!

Joe's Bike Shop Racing Team Base Camp

The Race: Basically it went something like this and then rinsed and repeated for over 13 hours

The Duke rolling down the rocks

• Cheryl starts in first position and does what she does best --- races her arse off (with lap times that rivaled the best among the men)
• Chris the Duke is up next and he awaits Cheryl's arrival in our base camp staging area.  When Cheryl arrive, I take her band and fasten it to Chris's bar and he's off.
• Chris proceeds to race his arse off pushing his new Superfly to its limits 
• In the meantime, Cheryl rests which generally means a cool down on the bike and nutrition...



Tillmanator in the Pines (thanks Gary Ryan Photography!)

• Before you know it, it's time for me to stage.  Chris arrives, Cheryl fastens the band to my bar and I'm off.

Cheryl hopping up the rock ledge

Cheryl taking the rock section fast

Tillman #2

We raced at our limit and beyond.  Panting, yes, more often it felt like gasping.   We all suffered.  We all suffered beyond our normal suffering limits as we knew our teammates were fighting as hard as they could out on the race course, leaving it all  out there.   We wanted to win.  We wanted to set each other up for each subsequent lap.  We wanted to Tillmanate the competition.

and, we did!

Mid Afternoon Photo Break (Me, Angela VavaVROOM, and Sheehan)

During the day, we enjoyed the awesome atmosphere of our base camp.  We lounged around. 
We recapped our laps.
We had Joe in the mix, yeah!
We told each other to eat and drink.
We stretched.
We smiled, we smiled a lot.
We cheered all our teammates as they raced around base camp.
We helped each other get ready.
We made sure lights were working right for night laps.
We wrenched on bikes.
but most importantly, we had a freaking blast.



Many of the Joe's teams rocked it this past Sunday. 

We had a 3-person male team take 2nd....
We had a 2-person co-ed duo team take 3rd...
And last but not least, Stewart's Sublime Tillmanator Prom with Churtle the Turtle took 1st in the co-ed 3-person team.

It was a great day.  Baker's, we'll see you again next year.

AFC Sugar Hill Women's Expert XC MTB

Figured for this blog, I'd share my post-race report summary.  Maybe you will get some ideas of how I re-play a race, maybe you can share insights with me.

In the end, I'd say:

• I should have suffered harder and tasted more blood going up the waterbar to chase down that 5 second gap;  maybe I could have held on, maybe not......  easier said then done but maybe an extra 30 seconds of mega-suffering would have helped me stay on the lead group
• More calories.  My little Tillmanator engine is like a small 4 cyclinder revving at 1000 rpms.   I need serious high octane high calorie food intake when I rev that high.   I am going to experiment with bottles up to 400 calories.   This race, I took in 700 calories.   I think I could have easily drank another 300 calorie bottle.

*********************

Sunday morning:

·         Woke around 8:00A to coffee and breakfast

·         Had time to run BJ’s errand with T

·         Got back, mixed up my regular veggie/ fruit / protein vitamixer shake

·         Packed car and was off by 11:00

Sunday pre-race:

·         Arrived 11:30, got registered

·         Parked on my stuff at team tent

·         Got sweet parking spot closeby

·         Continued to sip on water and my shake

·         Got on trainer at 12:15p or so and started warmpu

o   Warmup felt good.

o   Intervals felt do-able.  Really focused on power # more than HR.

o   Finished early with time to pack road bike away in car

o   Put on race shades

·         And got geared up

o   Had 2 water bottles with 3 scoops (300 cal) infinit in each bottle

o   Carried one gel and one set of gu chomp gels

·         Pedaled around on my MTB to stay warmed up, easy zone 2.

·         Pedaled up to starting line right around 1p

·         Didn’t really socialize on start, retained focus on race ahead and just didn’t feel like jibber-jabbing

The Race – start:

·         We had 2 minute warning then 30 second warning. 

·         I was positioned on left, 2^nd position.

·         Had solid start immediately clipping in and powering into the pedals

·         Tracy Posner, on my left started to ramp up speed on first road hill

o   I easily matched and took lead and better line

o   Stacy Barbossa (Cyclocross expert start – Colavita) and Carolyn Popovic (Team CF expert CXer and MTB) were both behind

o   Stacy and Carolyn were the ones I had targeted as “my” competitors from the get-go

·         I was first onto the gravel/dirt and leading up the waterbars.

o   Heart rate was off the chart

o   Legs were burning

o   Nearing the top, Stacy made a pass and hit me with her wide-arse (new-to-her) handlebars which forced me  to put a foot down to recover balance.

o   I cussed her a bit saying:  “Why the hell are you pushing me down this early in the race Barbossa…”  she apologized.  IT’s racing.

o   I made it back.

o   Stacy led, Carolyn right on her wheel, me in 3^rd

·         At the top of the bars, Stacy put the hammer down even harder and forced the gap. Carolyn was on her and I was now at a 5 second gap.   Ginni was behind me by 5 sec and two behind her.  (we only had six racers)

·         I was at my red limit and pushing 180’s the first lap of the purple Rockburn loop lap

The race – 1^st lap

·         Into the first Rockburn lap, I was as hard on gas as I could.  Def anaerobic and at my max.  

·         Tasted blood whole lap.

·         The gap grew to maybe 10 seconds halfway around that first loop.  Stacy was still in my sights leading Carolyn

·         I just didn’t have any more “go juice” to chase them down and close the gap.  I was at my limit.

·         Ginni also fell farther behind me.  By the time we were finishing the loop making the left onto yellow trail (morning choice) near spectators, I had probably put a 20 second gap on her, that only grew the rest of the race.

·         I felt strong throughout Morning choice trail (yellow) all the way to Landing road.   I knew the lines I wanted, where I wanted to stand and power (and lock out my suspension) and where I had to push harder to get back up to speed.  

      I loved the twisty areas leading into Landing area.  I nailed the log piles eliminating the wide angle turns and taking more straight, fast lines.  I stood up all the hills leading up to the big tree that had fallen right as you reach Landing.

·         I crushed the landing descent and all tracks leading up to bridge stream crossing to Cascade bypass and the first muddy area and rock garden.  I took the line up the big rock that I had been practicing.  No issues.  

      I pushed and pulled hard up the short steepies.  I felt good.

·         Rock garden back on Cascade, I nailed the left line each time cutting a second or two off (I def thought that line was faster).

·         Back up Ridge, I felt strong too.

·         I drank 1 bottle the first lap, no problems sipping here and there along the loop.  300 calories

2^nd Lap

·         This is where I felt like I started to get into no man’s land.   

       At this point, I could no longer see Stacy.   I was fearful the gap was much wider than what people were telling me on the trail.  At the spectator intersection, people were yelling 20-30 seconds but I could not see her.

·         Meanwhile, some solid SSers were now passing me on lap 2

·         Lap 2 time was slower than lap 1.  I felt good though.  Rode clean.

·         Feel like I could’ve gone faster on the downhills and twisty sections, had I trusted my equipment 100%.  Sometimes it is hard to balance caution and staying upright with outright crazy race speed.

·       

         Overall lap 2 was good.  I had a few moments of ahhh ouch this hurting but I quickly moved through those race moments.

·         I took in probably ½ a bottle (150 cal) and one gel (100 cal)

3^rd lap:

·         3^rd lap hurt.   I could feel my upper body tense and my right hand, the “hold on” muscles as I refer to them.,   really focused on core stability and posture.  To race fast, you have to engage the whole body. This was my focus.  Ride clean.  Ride well. 

·         On last lap, I actually started picking up a few guys that were moving backward so to speak.

·         I would catch tehm all on the uphills where my steady power and push was there.   

·         I could feel the rocks more, the roots more and I was def not as aggressive with the downhill speed.  

·         I took in my last ½ bottle (150 cal) on last lap.  Bottle was dry by the time I hit water bar descent. 

·         Rode solid last lap but never did catch Barbossa. 

·         Rode solid into finish with last push. 

·         As I got off my bike, legs/calves started to twinge (early warning cramping sign).  I was out of it but intoxicated by the race…and glad it was over.  

·         I finished 3^rd, one minute behind 2^nd and about 10 min behind 1^st 

·         I took in 700 calories, I don’t think it was nearly enough at that intensity.  I could have easily drank a 3^rd bottle and mixed them stronger.

Jamaica

Pre trip

Snow-apocalypse predicted to hit Monday.  Airline allows us to switch Monday flight to Sunday 10:30a.  Tracy secures the extra night reservation at our resort, Secrets Wild Orchid...

Flight 

Wake, workout then off to airport for 10:30 flight.  Arrive Jamaica 2:00ish.  Our private transportation was waiting for is (thanks again T)

Check in

For $100 extra, we can upgrade our entire stay from a junior suite to their Master Suite, um, WITH BUTLER SERVICE.  Yes, Michael the Butler has been taking very good care of us.  We even have our own Butler cell phone so that we can reach him directly at any time.  Um...freaking spoiled honeymooners. Awesome!

A panoramic pic of our Suite:

Day 1 Highlights Monday 3/3

- exploring late afternoon, we walk all over the resort

- massage appointments booked

- Butler booked us dinner at Bordeaux restaurant when we arrived. He picked us up from our room at 7:15 and walked us down to the restaurant.  Our table was outside overlooking the water & under a clear sky of brightly shining stars.  Our table had rose petals scattered all over it. Um yeah, no other tables had petals...or a Butler escort.  Wow!

Sunset from our balcony:

Day 2 Monday 

Back home it's icing and snowing... Meanwhile...in paradise, we wake to morning coffee delivery and a gorgeous sunny day.  Now we'll spend our day sitting by our own private beach lagoon with the gentlest little waves breaking and a blue sky filled with sunshine.  It feels so wonderful.

Sitting on the beach, I decided to check BWI flights to see if our original flight was cancelled...  Oh wise Wifey of mine...so smart to move all our plans Saturday morning...our original flight was cancelled.

We spent all day relaxing at the beach...sipping cocktails, eating jerk chicken with a real deal rocking jerk sauce, and sipping on coconuts and cocktails...

Coffee before dinner at the outdoor cafe:

Our Butler escorted us to dinner again tonight.  A line of 20 or so people were waiting to see the hostess.  He told us to wait outside.  He returned a few minutes later and promptly sat us at a table outside.  All I can say is wow - butler service is awesome.

Day 3 - Tuesday

- coffee and fresh baked goods delivered at 7

- we jogged over to the fitness center to get a quick MetCon workout in (thrusters, abs)

- jogged back to room.  I wanted to get more cardio in.  T wanted to get down to "our spot" on the beach.

- ran 2.5 miles to sweat some Jamaica out of me...meanwhile T was witnessing the jellyfish removal in the lagoon.  Apparently there were a lot of jellyfish in there...

- we chilled most of day.  Great breakfast, wading/socializing in the water w new friends, more jerk chicken...

(Cried hard at the end of my book: The Art of Racing in the Rain <great book btw>)

- we had spa appointments at 3:30.  Our personal Butler drove us over in the golf cart since it had started to drizzle... Oh how wonderful to have these men at our beckon call to take care of us.

The Spa:

- shower

- sauna

- shower 

- hot tub

- freezing cold bath dip

- diversity pool with various jets (swans), jets and in pool beds to massage the muscles

- foot bath walk. Hot hot hot walk into freezing cold cold cold back to hot hot hot --- feet felt like they were on FIRE

- water bucket shower with T except she leapt out at the last minute and left me to experience the cold water solo.

- chill

- 80 min couples massage

- that was freaking awesome

- call the Butler Patrick on our butler cell phone...he's there to pick us up.  Awesome.

Got back to room after 5 and had this waiting for us.... This Honeymoon rocks!

Champagne, drawn hot tub bath...

And the Love Swans!

Aw!

Day 4 Wednesday

- Snorkeling 9-10

- Breakfast and beach time.  I loved the star fruit

- afternoon rain showers passed then Hobie Sail w Barclay.  (Reminded me of our Tillman Hobie days growing up)

- starfish and shallow water adventuring with our Tennessee friends David and nicki.

- surprise from Dad and family

Thanks Dad!

And a Love Bunny from the resort...

Day 5 Thursday

Today was the day when I started to feel really relaxed.  Maybe it was the booze...

- Champagne breakfast w Mimosas 7A

- T hit beach while I ran 35 min.  Jog, push-ups and 5x100M sprints fueled by Mimosas!  Lots of sweating.

- Snorkeling again at 10A.  Puffers, sea cucumbers, starfish, conch, lion fish & many other cool sightings.

- cocktails.  More cocktails.

- afternoon snorkeling w David from TN...

- chit chat w Brazilians, Bostonians, and the folks from WisCONsin... They thought I had an accent - ha.

- cocktails.

- shower, aloe for the sunburn, and lunch 3P.  Must stop eating!...I'll start when I get home.

Our Towel "Chick" Rowers!

Our last dinner in Jamaica by the pools and overlooking the ocean:

Picture w Patrick the butler

Day 6 - Friday Morning, our last morning

We woke early to ensure we had one last full morning of Jamaican sun. 

Our spot

2014 races

Signed up for the Shenandoah 100 and Stoopid 50 milers tonight.  Yeah, time to get some miles.
I am getting excited about the upcoming season.  Now winter just needs to end.... and the trails need to dry out.

02-21-14 Tillmanator Marriage Race Weekend

The Tillman / Pafel marriage union took place Friday morning 2/21 in our local, Baltimore county courthouse.   I must say I was completely Un-Tillmanator - which is a good thing.  I maintained  a cool, calm and collected attitude leading up to the moment of speaking the marriage vows aloud, and THEN BOOM, the emotional flood-gates opened and I cried a river onto the courthouse civil ceremony room floor.   I could see in Tracy's eyes the surprise as her eyes grew wide and full...with a look that spoke silently:  "Should I be concerned?!  OMG.  I was the one who was going to lose control and cry."   Nope, it was me crying a river, the Tillmanator, being very un-Tillmanator-ish.

Being analytical means you dissect things.  You plan.  You naturally create algorithms and logical schemas.  There are always patterns.

But in the moment of saying my vows aloud to Tracy, holding her hands in mine, and trying to maintain that deep gaze into her big, brown beautiful eyes,  there was nothing to analyze.  I felt.  I felt amazing emotion.  Deep connection.   Deep trust.   I felt the culmination of our nearly ten years of getting to that moment.  I felt the amazing love I carried in my heart and soul for her.  I felt so grateful to have this woman stand before me, holding MY Hands, and looking deep into my eyes.

I felt love.

And it was overwhelming...

And I will lie if I said I didn't analyze this one thing:   will the legal clerk and Tracy understand my muffled voice and words underneath this river of joy....

And will I drown?

To love and all things non-Tillmantorish.


PS:  I raced Monster CX sunday and it was flipping hard and awesome and amazing.
But pales as a blog post compared to my big life event 2/21. 

I love you T,
Jen