Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Ending 2012 with a win. Sweet stuff.

The "cherry on top of my season" - the last race is a win.

I must be honest.  It has been tough for me trying to sit down and write my blog this week.  I have thought about it.  I've sat down and uploaded pics.  No words coming.   And a few folks have asked about my blog - where is it - and again, I think: eventually something will come.  Well I decided to make today that day.

Until now, there hasn't been any flow.

You would think there would be more excitement coming through the keyboard since I ended the season with a Win, an unexpected and unplanned accomplishment for my season.  It has been an incredible season and what better way then to take you all through my day in more detail but I'm just not feeling it.

Hmm,  maybe my loss of words and not wanting to do a race day playback (or weekly playback) is really telling me something?   Hmm.  Maybe my standard approach isn't working because:

  • I've already shared "my race play back" with those I really care about.  Those that have been supporters of me, always present in the background and always spending time to listen to race debriefs.  Maybe my blog flow has already "been spent" on those face-to-face fun playbacks!
  • I have a quietness inside and the fiery words just aren't in my brain.
  • I am still processing.
  • I am already looking forward while enjoying my personal, 2012 celebration.


It is interesting to me though that I have been kind of dreading the blog process especially since Sunday was such an awesome day of racing for me.  Sunday was all about pure flow.

Sunday I was:
  • Having no specific hungry, fiery expectations at all
  • Feeling open to the race outcome no matter what it was
  • Racing without thinking.    
  • Allowing the race to unfold around me while watching and navigating to things around me
  • Watching and making moves without a lot of thinking.  More doing, less thinking.
  • Less absorbed with ego and more focused on just being there.  Being.
So was Sunday's race and resultant success more about my spiritual/emotional state and less about the physical?


There are always a myriad of factors at play in life.  Always.  A factor may have more of an impact than another but factors are rarely isolated.

I know it is the intersection of various things that led to my ultimate success in that race.   I find this stuff fascinating.

There were a lot of interesting "Feelings" that surfaced for me over the last week.  different things I'll just say that I am actively working thru....

On race day though,  I felt that I was very true to myself.  I felt quiet-er.  I felt open.  And at the end of the day, it was my strongest race of the season.  Hmmmmm.

Consistent Training + Appropriate Weekly Training Load + Right Amount of Rest + Right Spiritual and Emotional Balance = CREATE AN OPPORTUNITY

Yeah, maybe something like that with a few other ingredients for sure...

Winning Sunday felt awesome.  It felt good to race hard.  To have it.  To get the win.

At the end of this blog, I am more fascinated by the qualitative "feelings" that were and are present than any specific training plan data/evidence.



Next up:
2013 Nationals.
1/10 Age Groups
1/12 Elites

May toss in a tune up or two before then and I certainly plan to get back to riding for fun a good bit over the Holidays.

Safe holidays to everyone.  See many of you in '13.






Tuesday, December 11, 2012

What a long, strange trip (this weekend of racing) has been....

Each blog is different.  Each race weekend is different.  
This weekend:  What a long, strange trip it has been?!  Yeah, felt a little like that for sure.
Unpredictable events.   Different feelings.   Unexpected luck.
 Read on.   This week I took a timeline approach.


Friday 12/07/12 - work and race assembly process
  • 17:00. Leave work.  Get packed.   Hoards of clothes.  4 bikes.  2 trainers and 2 trainer wheels.  2 coolers.  Stuff.  More stuff.   More, more...stuff.   Yeah, almost feels like each weekend there is more vs. less.  
  • Notes:  Watched a movie.  Felt almost like a normal friday night.

Saturday 12/08/12 - NY UCI SuperCross
  • 04:30. Wake.  ouch.
  • 05:30. depart house
  • Notes:  I am obsessed with leaving on time.  Obsessed.
  • Weather:  Mega fog, mist

  • Sometime after sunrise.  Damn Po Po stopped us in DE right before the bridge.
       Po Po Quotes:
           "You don't have to thank me."
           "And don't let this ruin your day..."
  • Notes:  AT is very polite when stopped.   But she should have turned on more of a charming girl routine (blonde girl?) and go for the "warning" ticket.   ;-)
  • 10:00 ish.  arrive NY
  • 10:00-12:15 warmups and readying to race.
  • Notes:   course was modified due to Hurricane Sandy and FEMA support in the area taking over usual course spot.  With that said, we still had a race and that was cool.   But, course def was more of a grass crit course which didn't suit my strengths.  
  • 13:00-13:45.  race.  full of mega pain.  couldn't shed that damn girl Liz behind me.  Man I tried.  Caught a nice stick in my brakes on the first lap and had to stop/dismount to fix it.   What little gap I had on few girls behind me disappeared and I just couldn't drop Liz after that.  I tried but she grunted her way back to my wheel.  Right on my wheel. I raced my arse off but field ahead was crazy fast Saturday and I was in no man's land fast.  Little island of me and Liz.  Liz tried to make a few passes, none successful except the only the mattered, the last one right before the finish.  She got me.  While I had a few expletives at the end, she raced smarter.  Well done Liz.  I finished feeling mega disappointed.  The "I suck" theme was playing, playing loud.  My emotions were not quite stable Jen emotions.  I was a hot mess. 
  • 13:45-?.  While feeling very sorry for my sad little self, I washed my bike.  Went immediately inward with a leave me alone bumper sticker on my forehead.  Deal is:  I am human.  I want to do well.  I set these crazy high bars for myself.  I train.  I train more.  I train more.   And sometimes I just don't meet the self-imposed goal I set.   But in the end, does the goal even matter?  No.  That is one fraction of life in time.  It's a race.  It is an experience.  But sometimes it feels like it matters a lot.  So.  I had my sorry Jen Pity party for 30-60 minutes then as any good solutions person does:  they look to solve the problem. 
  • The Recipe Fix for the Disappointed Me:
  • Stop washing your bike.  It's clean enough...geez.
  • Change clothes, yeah being dry is awesome.
  • Decide to communicate again.  
  • Hug it out.  Huuuuugggg it out.
  • Almost cry.  'Cause you are a "little bit girl" after all.   Maybe.  *Joke*
  • Then do what any smart cyclocross racer does -- you know the ones that really have a lot of fun and heckle:
  • Follow these Instructions:
1.  Ingest 2 beers in 30 min.   Yes.  2 Brooklyn IPAs as fast as you can.   #1 cause they taste good.  #2 because they are filling.  Needed post race nutrients.  um, something like that.

2.  Raid the free Red Bull coolers.  Take 4 free red bulls for later.   Because caffeine is def my favorite addiction 2nd to cycling of course.  And these addictions play so well together.


3.  Because you have introduced Red Bull, you must inspect the Red Bull Truck.  Inspect up close.  Closer.   Ask for a tour.  Take cool photos. 

4.  Add:   an awesomely decadent Belgian waffle with chocolate and spekuloos spread.  Waffle Truck - What awesome race promoters offer:  

5. Proceed to eat as sloppily as you can.  Chocolate everywhere.   Who cares?!

6.  THEN SMILE.   You have successfully lightened up and come back down to the ground.  You realize it is a privilege to race.  This is after all, just a race that doesn't really mean anything.  Really.  A race is only 40 minutes and is gone.  Blip.  Gone.



7.  Decide you are in New York so it's now time to pursue real food in Manhattan.  


8.  Hand the car keys over.   See step #1.  :-)



Saturday 12/08/12 - Part Deux of the Day.   Adventure Time.

The Plan was to leave NY race, grab dinner in Manhattan and then head to my Cousin Gail's house near Emmaus PA.   Sunday's race would be 20 minutes from Gail's.   We'd hang with them and get over to the race in the AM.
  • Post race. AT drives us to NY amidst the crazy Saturday traffic.  My mind is mush.  Pleasant mush.   Operation post race a true success.
  • Arrive Manhattan.   Found parking near Angelica Restaurant on 12th street.   Restaurant offered a Vegan menu.  Split a bunch of food per the new usual.  Hunger def kicked in.   Spent time transitioning from early day mode to post race.  Good conversation, people-watching and eavesdropping on other conversations.  Yeah.  
  • Took a picture of Jesus.  Cause he had a cake! Needed more candles though.
  • Side Note:   Sometimes you are lucky enough to have people in your life truly enter your life and see you.  As my friend says:  really see you.  or be seen.  For me, it really doesn't happen that often despite appearances.  Maybe I don't want it to.  Maybe it is just the way it is.  Anyway, this "be seen" observation, of myself, stuck with me, not an analysis but rather an observation.  Maybe me seeing me.  And it continues to sit with me as a write this.  Anyway.  I'm really lucky to have a very few people in my life that really see me and can offer me perspective.  Their Perspectives sit with me, speak to me,  long after the conversations are over.  Maybe this is what the weekend was all about.  Discovering and re-discovering little nuggets of perspective.  Maybe this was the "win."  Maybe I just re-defined win.
 So the story shifts to positive.  Calm.  Good stuff.   But it wouldn't be a good story without more unexpected, strange occurrences.

  • 18:00.  Or so.  Leave Manhattan.  Dinner was great.  2 bikes were still on the hitch when we returned to the car.  Even better Good stuff.  Yes.
  • Lincoln Tunnel get us out of here.  West to PA.
  • Stopped to get gas in Jersey City.
  • Car wouldn't start.
  • Car wouldn't start.
  • Cr@pOLA.  
  • Nice Minivan Man with sister living somewhere in MD offered a jump.   No luck.  Tried, tried and re-tried.  Nothing.  Nothing.
  • Proceed to analyze.  What the heck are we going to do.  We are in freaking Jersey City with a ton of bike cr@pola everywhere.  Everywhere.   Gulp.   Breathe.  
  • Pray to Jesus with his missing birthday candles.
  • 19:30.  Push car out of the way of the gas pump.
  • Decide like racing, there will be no giving up.  No matter how bad you feel, you must keep going.  Thank-you AT, you brought more of that.  Maybe it was a quiet, reserved desperation that fueled you.  But you said or think it was you:  try again.
  • Guy in Nissan.  Ask him for a jump, 'cause Nissan will jump better.  Nissan likes Honda.  Maybe that dumb Dodge didn't like our Honda.
  • Try again.
  • Nothing.
  • Try again.
  • Nothing.
  • Mess with the cables.
  • Try again.
  • OMG, it started.
  • Thank-you sweet Jeeezus.
So.  there were two options at this point in the story.  Proceed to Gail's in no-where's-ville PA or head back to Baltimore and do NOT shut down the engine.

  • We drove west toward PA.   Somewhere in that first 20 minutes of driving west on I-78 we discussed the real risks.
    Worst Case:  Car doesn't start tomorrow and we get stuck in PA.  How do we get home?  Consequences?  Ouch, this scenario sucks!
    Better Case:   What if we drive home?   Swap cars.  Race tomorrow.   (Remember how a few folks get stuck in my head and really know me.  Well thank you T for offering this HUGE NUGGET of wisdom while I was at the gas station.)
  • Unexpected twist.
  • Strange trip.
  • Full of luck.  Thank-you luck.
  • 20:00-23:00 Drive home.  Unpack some.  Eat again.  Shower.  Sleep.   

Sunday 12/09/12 - Limestone at the Kiln, Emmaus PA


Sunday Weather:    Who cares about a little rain especially after our Saturday adventures?

  • 06:00.   Wake and move
  • 06:00-07:00:  pack AT's car.   Today we'd have our A bikes leaving our pit bikes at home.
  • Pit stop:   Donuts!!!!!!!!!!  Why not.
  • 10:00:  arrive Emmaus PA.
  • Setup the 3-leg tent.  The tent that has stories.  The poor little wounded tent that still does a good job keeping us dry.  The tent that could.   
  • Walk the course versus ride the course.  Way too muddy and only one bike... it was a wicked, smart call.
  • General Notes:    I feel generally mellow today.  Tired.  Def tired from the long, strange Saturday trip but overall not bad.  Different energy.  Less amp.  Bit of a different perspective on the day's goals ahead ... 
  • The umbrella hat came back out.  She'd been hiding since Gloucester.  You have to have fun when the umbrella hat comes out to play.  Ridiculously awesome and super functional.  Hands free.  :-) Smiles.
  • The course:  mud.  Tons of mud.  four run-ups.  yes four.   FOUR.  ouch.  Great course, epic CX course.  CrayCray.   It was crazy.  It was fun.  It hurt.  It WAS fun.  I will def come back to race the Kiln.  Maybe I'll have mud tires by then.   Ha.




















So what a long strange CX trip of a weekend it has been?   It was a good trip at the end of the day.  Sunday was a freaking blast.   Maybe I needed a mud cleanse.  Maybe I just needed to loosen this tight grip I put around myself.

Cycles and cyclocross kind of go hand in hand.   The cycle taught me a lot and gave me more mental stuff to chew on for awhile.



Monday, December 3, 2012

Shimano NEPCX - NBX Gran Prix of Cyclo-cross (Aka: the Rhode Island Cyclcross Trip)

Friday 11/30:   Leaving Town.

Our plan was to leave my house by 7p, 8 at the latest, on Friday evening after work.   The Element was packed full of stuff:  4 bikes, 2 inside/ 2 outside.   2 trainers, 2 trainer wheels, 2 coolers, 2 bag of clothes, water, a Yakima roof rack stuff with even more overflow stuff (chairs, tent, stuff stuff and more stuff). Oh and throw in a new Crux frame to be delivered to one of my C3 team-mates.  Yeah, we had plenty of room!  Ha!

Well, we managed to get good ole' Ellie (element) packed and left Baltimore by 7:30P.   :-)   The drive was more/less uneventful.  I drove the first leg up through a rest stop near Newark and AT took 2nd shift.  Needless to say by midnight, we were both loopy and tired ready to get to the hotel.

Lucky we had that sugar stop at the 24 hour CVS. We arrived Warwick, Rhode Island around 1:30A and schlepped most of the stuff up to the hotel room.   Didn't take us long to totally pass out.  Race day was only a few hours away.

Saturday 12/01:   Race Day #1

First the weather.  Always amusing that the weather forecast is projecting decent weather all week and then we get close to race day and everything shifts.   Yeah, well at least we didn't have a large green blob on  radar map surrounding the race site like we did for Gloucester.





Weather:   high 30's into 40's.  Rain, mostly drizzly, all night friday and into Saturday morning.   By late morning we had large snow flakes.  Yeah it was freaking cold.









 The course:
  • Uphill start into a gravel laced slight right hand turn into a pine forest.  
  • Some nice roots which were spray painted orange throughout the first stretch as well as many other stretches on the course.
  • A fly-over into a fast grassy straightaway
  • Natural barriers of two fallen trees, very cool
  • More roots
  • more Turns
  • a long, hard sand beach run (ouch!)
  • sand filled cleats :)
  • More barriers
  • more turns with roots and sand
  • rinse N repeat at heart attack speed
Anyway, you get a sense of the day 1 course.  It freaking hurt.  The group quickly spread out after the start and gaps emerged.  It was a fight to get up to the wheel of the "next" rider in front, make a pass, and do it again.   The hardest part for me was def the long beach run and the straights.  My competition def had more power in the straights then technique in the turns and technical sections ---- at least the competition in the back of the pack.   I raced hard.  Felt good.  Solid.  But not great, I wanted a better performance for day 2.

Finished 23rd out of 33 riders.   LVG and Arley both rocked the podium, 1st and 3rd.


Saturday 12/01:   Race Day Evening, almost like a normal Saturday night minus my favorite T

Dinner out and a movie.  We had dinner at a cool vegetarian restaurant then hit the local movie theater to see Anna Karenina.   I still have that movie music stuck in my head.   Anyway, it was nice having a relaxing evening after a hard day racing.  Only thing missing was my Tracy.  But it was super nice just to lay low.   Funny when we got back to the hotel, some other racers were huddled in the hallway on benches stolen from the lobby area drinking beer and kicking back.   Funny, in another time, I would have been guzzling back a few brews but anymore I just want to keep the bod clear and free.   Good stuff though --- we all have our ways to chill and relax.  This time I chose food, a movie, conversation and ZZZZzzzzz's.  :) 


Sunday 12/02:   Race Day #2

Slept wicked hard Saturday night and woke kind of late. 8A.  Best part of the morning was a coffee delivery.  Serious friends deliver coffee to waking Jen's.  Seriously, think that for me cements friendship for life.  def.    

Weather:  today.  Warm by comparison.  50s.  Gray skies but the sun was trying to peek out from time to time.

The course:   very similar to day 1 but take away the long grassy straightaway near the start and add a 2nd technical sand section.   Very mountain-biker-esque IMO.   Quick, punchy climb into a sandy descent right hander with thicker sand.   You could easily ride the punchy climb if you were powering (the men rolled that hill so fast, it was awesome). There was one good rutted line down into the 2nd sand section and if you did it right you could be off the bike clean and pushing the bike as you quickly navigated right back up the upward right hand 180 degree turn back up the hill.  That last bit pushing the bike up to the dirt flat was tough.  Short section but def took some mega energy.

The start:  The start effin sucked.  Yeah, just have to say it like that.   2nd to last row start.   Lined up behind AT and when whistle blew, things just didn't go well for our small Baltimore crew.  Girl in front of AT fudged her start.  AT hit her wheel.  Everyone beside me and in front of me/us proceeded forward while we didn't.  It could have been worse, a crash at the start.   That happened on day 1 and I just escaped it... so guess this was not so bad.

...And as we said later:   we were just giving that field a nice 5 second head start.  Yeah, why not?!!  Just go ahead, we'll catch up.

Day 2 Start.   Challenges and Tough Times started at the whistle.  :-/
Well.  That was the start.  It sucked.   But we were fueled by anger and proceeded to claw and fight to reclaim spots.   Think AT and I both would agree it was some of our fiercest most aggressive racing.   In 'cross, things go wrong.  Guess you can always count on something to fail.

And in a split nano-second, you're either the one making the move or the one reacting to the move.
Think I learned I can make serious moves.   Minus the one encounter where I ran right into the tape after making an aggressive move over the barriers (giving that damn field another few seconds, yeah why not?  geez!),  I rode hard.  I chose my moves wisely minus the 1.   I attacked into corners and took position.   I accelerated hard to get out ahead of other racers right before technical sections where I knew I could ride clean and potentially gain time on them.  Small victories in a trying day.  I'll take small victories.  :-)

Despite the obstacles of the day, I finished 25th out of 34 riders.  I had to fight hard and from the DFL (dead effin last as AT said it) position at the start.

I love the sport.   It brings butterflies, anger, frustration, euphoria, happiness, fatigue, soreness, bruises, smiles, laughs, chills.  It brings a bunch of crazy people together to race their bikes on grass, mud, sand, and road for 40 minutes.

While Rhode Island was not my best race, it was def one where I fought hard.  It was def a challenging day of racing.  Hard Course.  Solid competition.  And as always, I learned a lot once.  These big UCI races def accelerate the learning curve for sure.
Element Explosion :)



Still Ahead -
(T minus 3 races until Nationals)

  • 12/08 - NY
  • 12/09 - PA
  • 12/16 - MD
  • January - Nationals

Thanks for reading and thanks for all the support.



Photos care of:  Cycling News